Despite everything in my past I am still here, I still reach out to love each and every time and I am still capable of hope. I owe it all to one woman who showed me through her actions, words and deeds that no matter what, love was always the answer. She is gone now, but always with me.
I always knew one thing in my life. Love was a phone call away. No matter how low I felt, no matter how roughly I was treated at home I could always call my G-Ma (Grandma) and I would be filled with enough love to withstand all the insults, physical and emotional attacks, and sexual intrusions that occurred. All this taught me…the answer to life’s greatest question is love.
We are here to love each other. We are here to lift each other up as high as we can. It is that act alone that lifts us up in turn. I am not saying to lift someone else up strictly to have the act reciprocated, but to do it selflessly, with the sole reason being that you want this other person to feel loved. Think of it like a mother lifting her child up, building him/her up to take on the world and making it a better place. A husband encouraging his wife to follow her dreams because he loves her and wants to see her fulfill every dream she ever has.
We, as human beings, as people, do not have to reserve this very special gift that we can give to just those close to us. A kind word to a stranger on the street looking like he’s having a rough day is a gentle act of love. Believe it or not, that kind word could save his life. A long talk letting an acquaintance pour out his/her troubles goes a long way- that’s an act of love. Reaching out to your fellow humans allows you to connect and bring love into your life in a way that strengthens you as a person. This is what my G-Ma taught me in so many trips to stores, malls, doctor’s offices. She was always kind and loving when she could be. Don’t get me wrong she had her fiery side- she had her Irish roots after all!- but it was the love she handed out so freely that allowed me to do the same.
I know my words don’t and won’t reach a lot of people…but even if just one reads them, heeds them…and passes them on, then maybe we can start getting somewhere in this world. That is the legacy I always told my G-Ma I wanted to leave her….Well that and thanking her for being my true mother. I always made sure she knew how much she meant to me. Just like I try to do with everyone in my life. You never know what tomorrow may bring and I never want anyone to doubt. I hope you all remember that as well! 🙂
I get asked all the time by people who hear the shortened version of my childhood/young adult story how I am doing. Esp. by the “shrinks” I have seen for other reasons, they really want to know. But I have always been fine. I may have had a few grey moments here and there but largely I have survived with relatively few scars. Even fewer once Carol was out of my life. The only answer I have for them is my G-Ma and love made me strong. With the love in my heart that I have for all, I can survive anything. And I try to help those that I speak with to get to that point to, where they can let the love in and begin their own healing.
Because, in the beginning, middle and end- Love is Always the Answer….